Editor’s Note: Happy April Fool’s Day, RSG readers! Domino’s is not taking over Lyft. Stay safe and take care out there!
Domino’s Pizza CEO Richard E. Allison Jr. announced early this morning his plans to buy Lyft for an unprecedented $300 billion.
“If we can run the pizza business better than everyone else, why can’t we run the rideshare business better than anyone else?” said Allison in an exclusive interview with The Rideshare Guy. “They clearly don’t know what they are doing. It’s a bit pricey, but we think we can turn a profit and get all that money back within 18 months.”
Domino’s told Lyft’s CEO Logan Green “you got 30 minutes” to respond to the buy out.
Domino’s to Offer Incredible Perks
Lyft drivers notified about the buy out are excited for upcoming Domino’s driver perks, including free pizza on demand.
Veteran Lyft driver Bob S. said, “I don’t really like Domino’s, but free pizza is free pizza.”
Along with free pizza, Domino’s is also offering the following benefits to drivers:
- Back massagers in every car – uncomfortable car? Wish you had some kind of back support? You will with Dominos-provided back massagers! One size fits all.
Lyft driver Stan L., who received his back massager earlier this week, had this to say: “I had to use duct tape to get it into my Prius – worth it!”
- Automatic tipping – no more ‘hoping’ for tips as a driver/courier! All orders will come with an automatic 20% of tips. If customers complain, they’ll be sent to deal with Lyft’s customer service reps!
That’s right, Domino’s decided to keep Lyft’s customer service department! “Everyone was so happy with Lyft’s customer service, so we just decided to keep them around,” stated Domino’s CEO Richard E. Allison.
- Drivers are always right – Speaking of customer service, the default for any passenger complaints will be ‘the driver is right’. Now, passengers will have to justify why they left anything less than a 5 star review. Drivers automatically receive VIP customer service while customers get to figure out customer service on their own.
Veteran Lyft driver John D., who stopped driving for Lyft during the pandemic but is now enthusiastically returning, commented: “Haha good luck with in app support!”
The only downside to this pairing? Domino’s is requiring all drivers install ‘Domino’s scented’ air fresheners in the car, with the goal to “get passengers hungry for Domino’s.”
Skeptical new Lyft driver Sheila S. had this question: “When I get my free pizza, what happens if I want ranch to dip it in?”
We reached out to Domino’s to see if they would provide drivers with free jars of ranch dressing, for those depraved enough to want that, and they stated:
“Any driver who wants ranch dressing will be provided 2 gallons a week. Drivers must keep the ranch dressing in the trunk of their vehicles, however, to make sure there is enough seating for passengers.”
So there you have it, folks! What do you think of this news? If you’re an Uber-only driver, will these new changes make you want to become a Lyft/Domino’s driver?
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