My Not-So-Secret Passenger Rating Menu (What Pisses You Off?)

Have you ever eaten at an In-N-Out Burger restaurant?

They are a burger chain that is very popular on the West Coast. Whenever my brother visited us here in California, his first stop was an In-N-Out burger.

In the movie, ''Pulp Fiction'' Jules said “This…..IS a tasty burger.”
In the movie, ''Pulp Fiction'' Jules said “This…..IS a tasty burger.”

The company uses very fresh ingredients and makes an excellent burger.

As Jules said in the movie “Pulp Fiction,” “This…..IS a tasty burger.”

But some people don’t know that there is a secret menu that allows you to customize your meal in various ways.

In this article, I will share my Not-So-Secret menu for rating passengers. Only some get a perfect 5 rating in my car. We all have our system. We all have some actions that bother us and warrant a 1 rating.

Some questionable actions may trigger giving a passenger a less-than-perfect 5.

Let’s see how my rating system compares to yours.


How do you rate your passengers?

This is something I have never heard anyone talk or write about. There are some drivers out there who always give a perfect 5 rating.

That’s not me. Not all my passengers are perfect.

After completing over 29,900 rides, I have developed a system for rating passengers.

It was a secret, but now it is Not-So-Secret.

Just like the In-N-Out Not-So-Secret Menu

The In-N-Out Not-So-Secret Menu.
The In-N-Out Not-So-Secret Menu.

Once I learned about this menu, my In-N-Out Burger experience blossomed and grew. I order not just a normal Double Double but a Double Double Animal and Protein Style.

I am getting a Double Double with grilled onion, extra sauce, and no bun. It makes a perfect Keto meal.

Let’s take a deep look at my own Not-So-Secret Passenger Rating Menu.

A 5 Rating (Perfection)

This rating is what 99% of my passengers earn from me. They are ordinary, respectful, clean passengers.

They have yet to do anything to make my driving experience unpleasant.

A 4 Rating (Not Bad)

Nobody gets a 4 rating. You get a 5 rating or drop significantly to a three or less.

You have to do something specific to get a lower rating.

A 3 Rating (Ohh, You Did Something I Don’t Like)

If you give a Lyft passenger a 3 rating or lower, you ensure you won’t be paired with them again.

With Uber, you will still get paired with a passenger even if you give them a 1 rating. I know this is the case because it has happened to me.

Now is the time to break out the Not-So-Secret Menu. Here it is:

Breakdown of my Not-So-Secret Passenger Rating Menu.
Breakdown of my Not-So-Secret Passenger Rating Menu.

Sit Behind Me – I don’t like it when a passenger sits behind me. I don’t like the feeling of being so vulnerable in my car.

I recently wrote about women who sit behind the driver and carry a knife to protect themselves. It makes me uncomfortable.

If you sit behind me, you won’t be talking to me and will get an automatic 3 rating.

Asking permission before answering the phone while on a ride.
Asking permission before answering the phone while on a ride.

Talk On The Phone Without Asking – I don’t mind you conversing, but I do mind you doing it without asking me for permission in my car.

Go ahead and take your call. Bam – 3 rating!

Ask Me To Play Your Music – If you get in my car and ask me to play something I don’t like or put on the radio instead of my carefully selected tunes, you will get a 3 rating. This rarely happens.

Most of my passengers enjoy my music, which demonstrates their good taste.

Make Any Smell I Don’t Like – If you land in my back seat and smell of substances or body odor, especially smelly feet, I will be harsh with you and give you a 3 rating.

It is not too hard to have a pleasant scent about yourself.

Why do people assume it is OK to smell up a space when others inhabit it?

A 2 Rating (You Have Crossed A Line!)

Now, we are getting into some detestable behaviors. I will endure the actions of my passengers, but once they are out of my car and I have a chance to rate them, they will earn a 2.

Make Me Wait More Than 4 Minutes – I can wait for one to three minutes. If you make me wait four minutes, a switch flips inside me, and I get angry.

Like many of you, I have taken hundreds of Uber and Lyft rides as a passenger. I am always on time. I am always waiting and ready to enter the vehicle upon arrival.

It is relatively easy to do. If you can’t do it, you get a 2.

Not eating in other people's car is a sign of respect for the owner.
Not eating in other people's car is a sign of respect for the owner.

Eat in My Car – Don’t eat in my car. I don’t want my car to smell like Doritos, McDonald’s, or whatever you are crunching on back there.

Show me and my car a little respect. My car is not your kitchen.

You get a 2.

A 1 Rating (Damn You. Get Out Of My Car!)

Now, we are talking about the lowest of the low. These are people who push me to my limits. These are very rare.

Not many people lose control to this degree to earn a lowly and well-deserved 1. If I could give a 0 (zero), I would. Arghhh.

Make Me Wait 5 Minutes – Enough said. You are costing me money.

Puke in my car – Fortunately for me, this has never happened. I watch YouTube videos of people puking in Uber and Lyft cars.

After such ghoulish behavior, stopping working, cleaning, and deodorizing your car must be unpleasant.

Fall Asleep, And I Have To Wake You Up – This happens to me maybe once a month. The passenger has been drinking. They are all chatty, getting into the car.

Then, the music, coupled with exhaustion, forces them to sleep. I don’t mind the falling asleep part. However, you have crossed a line when I have to wake you up, and it takes a few minutes.

I had to take 10 minutes to get a guy to wake up once. All he wanted to do was sleep, and he didn’t care if he did it in my car.

I understand that feeling. Drinking. Tired. Warm car. I can’t wake up. I have no mercy. You get a 1.

Fart and laugh about it – This only happened once. Two guys were in the back of my car. They were very drunk.

Then, I heard a loud eruption followed by giggling. I was incensed. The smell was putrid.

I could not have been happier than when they got out of my car, and I could give them a 1 rating—well played.

Key Takeaways

What else bothers you enough that you will give a passenger a less-than-perfect 5? There are some that I have yet to think about.

This is my Not-So-Secret menu, developed over seven years. I am a forgiving man.

However, when you do something so egregious, I can’t placidly act as if nothing happened. You will incur my wrath and get the appropriate rating. Some passengers have given me a 1 rating.

Undoubtedly, they are the passengers I tagged with a 1 rating. I don’t hide my contempt.

Hopefully, when they see my displeasure, they will change their behavior for the next ride, which may be yours.

Let’s train these passengers! Take care, rate wisely, and be safe out there.